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April 17, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. On Thursday, a video surfaced online of ESPN sideline reporter Britt McHenry unlashing an ugly barrage of insults on a tow-truck employee. And, as far as internet videos of ESPN sideline reporters...

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May 15, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. Republican Jeb Bush reversed course on Thursday and said that based on information now known, had it been up to him, he would not have waged war against Iraq. But be sure to check in tomorrow. 2....

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May 22, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. Actor George Clooney said when he proposed to his wife Amal he was down on his knees for 28 minutes. But that’s only because he left his Life Alert bracelet at home. 2. Former New England Patriot...

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May 27, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. Three-term Arizona Democratic Congresswoman Ann Kirkpatrick said on Tuesday she will seek to oust Republican John McCain from his U.S. Senate seat in 2016. “Not if I beat you to it,” said Father...

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August 7, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. Yesterday, the National Weather Service predicted a below-average 2015 hurricane season. So George W. Bush will just have to find a new way to not care about black people. 2. Actors Jennifer Aniston...

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August 10, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. Presidential candidate Donald Trump has come under fire for slamming Republican debate moderator Megyn Kelly by saying “there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her whatever.”...

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September 2, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. CNN is amending the criteria for its upcoming Republican presidential debate, possibly opening the door for Carly Florin to join the top-tier candidates on stage. “That’s great news,” said Donald...

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September 11, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. According to new research, gay-dar, the ability to sense if a person is gay, does not exist. Scientists reached this conclusion by examining the love choices of Liza Minnelli and Star Jones. 2....

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September 22, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. According to a new unauthorized biography, when in college, British Prime Minister David Cameron put his penis in the mouth of a dead pig. And, in related news, Cameron has been elected King of...

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October 6, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. On Monday, presidential hopeful Donald Trump jokingly sent a case of Trump Ice Natural Spring Water to rival Marco Rubio with the note “Since you’re always sweating, we thought you could use some...

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October 7, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. Recently, presidential candidate Carly Fiorina said her degree in medieval studies will help her defeat ISIS. Said ISIS, “We have never been so offended, who allowed a woman to get a degree?” 2. In...

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November 12, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. Republican presidential candidate Dr. Ben Carson said, if given the opportunity, he would not travel back in time and abort baby Hitler because he does not believe in abortion. “So many mixed...

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December 16, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. A woman in India last week named her newborn son “Uber” after delivering the child while using the ride sharing app. Which is ironic, because, after the rating that driver gave her, she’ll never be...

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January 22, 2016 – Monologue Jokes

1. The number of tourists visiting New York City rose to a record high in 2015, with nearly 60 million people making the trip. To give you an idea of how many people that is, if those 60 million...

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February 11, 2016 – Monologue Jokes

1. Some people are calling for a boycott of Beyonce because her Superbowl halftime back-up dancers were dressed like Black Panthers. Because, as Cam Newton showed, black panthers aren’t supposed to...

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April 28, 2016 – Monologue Jokes

1. This week, Republican frontrunner Donald Trump insulted rival John Kasich’s eating habits, saying he needs to learn to take “little bites.” Which is easy for Trump to say because his tiny little...

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May 9, 2016 – Monologue Jokes

1. Last week, boxer Oscar de la Hoya said Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump cheats on the golf course. “It’s not just limited to the golf course,” said Marla Maples. 2. A collection of...

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